Self-Image

This isn't going to have a whole lot of cohesiveness...so feel free to skip.

Today I got a call from the office manager asking me when would be a good time tomorrow for me to do a job. Well...I asked why? As normally the jobs tomorrow would be given in order of the rotation and I was certainly not going to be next on the rotation. Well, she said that the salesman specifically asked for me. I have no idea why, but for some reason this guy (one of our best salesmen) thinks that I do a good job and wanted me to do a particularly difficult job. I don't get it though? I'm not one of the best Techs...yeah my systems all work and the only service calls I get are from people who are canceling...but...I'm not the fastest, I'm not the best by any means. Why would they want me?

I keep thinking that perhaps I have a self-image problem. I was talking to someone the other day and I told them that it was very easy to compare the best parts of others with the worst parts of ourselves. Trying to convince her of the things that I thought were amazing about her, she kept saying that she wasn't as smart and that she was somehow 'sneaking' her way into getting people to think she is smarter than she actually is. (The girl is the freaking Valedictorian of a class of 700+). So do I suffer from similar problems? Just now I was talking to Novel and I told her that I wasn't exactly prime rib. She made a comment that got me thinking, "Who wants prime rib anyway?" Well, the answer: A lot of Men. "And that's what you want?" "Well...okay, so I'm not a ceaser salad with all the fixings." I realized that I had been making a generality, assuming that EVERYONE wants the same thing. Everyone wants Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, or Britney Spears. But they don't, Uffish likes Tomato Sandwiches, I hate tomatos. Somewhere out there, there is someone that is looking for a plate full of Asmond(maybe a bowl...I like soups more often than anything else...so I think I'd defiantly be a soup...not something you could put on a plate...yes, a nice thick hearty stew...yummy...I miss Mom's cooking) and I just have to figure out who she is.

I don't have to worry that I'm Sauerkraut or Blood Sausage, Tripe or Menudo, someone out there thinks those things are good! I think they are a little off their rocker, but someone likes them. So...I guess I don't need to worry so much about becoming the person that everyone wants and just become the person I can live with for the rest of eternity.

A couple more random thought sand then I'll end I think: My arm is all scratched up, I'm going to have tons of scars after this summer, today’s battle wounds with the wire striper, the needle nose and my drill: A long scrape from the elbow to two inches below the base of the thumb--cause: Bending over and scraping my arm across a drill bit in my belt. A flap of skin hanging off just below my pinkie toward the palm--cause: A sharp wire in the RJ block that cut up as I was trying to strip some other wire. An index finger with a scab on the first knuckle after getting it caught in the cutting part of the needle nose pliers while trying to close a dolphin clip.

Oh, I stopped to help a man with his Tire today...he had already changed it but I felt good just for stopping. I like doing random acts of kindness, they make me feel good inside, I think I'll start looking for more chances.

Today as I was listening to NPR(for some reason I've been listening to that lately) the thought came to me that M. might actually have feelings and thoughts all of his own and that the reason he did things is a direct result of things that have happened in the past. That the old Lady I had just explained how to use the system too and which couldn't understand really just couldn't understand and that she was having a hard time and I should have had more patience with her. I't shard to remember that sometimes other people have problems and concerns that they have worrying them, but imagine what would happen if everyone assumed that everyone else was as precious as they themselves were...and that everyone had problems...I need to start thinking more like that. Anyway, time for bed. I love ya'll

-Asmond