Five questions

The idea is that you are asked five questions by another blogger... then people ask you for five questions and pass it on in that respect.

1. You're the only person I know who has met Chuck Norris. No one I know has seen you and Chuck Norris in the same room. ERGO, I think you ARE Chuck Norris. Am I getting warm? How warm?

Answer: See answer to #2.

2. For some reason I have never seen a photograph of you that I find looks like you. ERGO, I think you are a vampire. What's your favorite flavor?

Answer: Come now, first Chuck Norris and now a Vampire? The world itself could not contain the awesomeness that is me. Now to answer your first question, your question contradicts itself. Either I am the only person you know to have met Chuck Norris or I am Chuck Norris. I cannot be both at the same time, for we have many mutual friends. As for my favorite flavor, it's not so much the blood type that affects the taste of blood... but rather the person. I'm currently a fan of high maintaince blonds, they have a sort of... tangy taste to them, although I've always been a sucker for a red-head. (But you can't turn a red-head into a vampire... there skin just becomes too white to deal with.)

3. I just bought a bag of marshmallows and four bags of Reese's pieces (the 17oz ones) and I am not ashamed. What's something YOU are not ashamed of?

Answer: Nothing... and everything? You see I have come to the point that I don't even consider what other people think in regards to my actions... so I am neither proud of nor ashamed of anything I have done or will do.

4. Thirty-five years ago, neither of us was born. Thirty-five years from now, some people still won't be. Could you give us some examples?

Answer: Examples of people who still won't be born in the year 2043: My seventh-born son. Harry Potter, Tom Riddle and Albus Dumbledore. A strange crossbreed between man, thinking screwdrivers, and Whales. However, I will note that CATS will have been born at this time.

5. Nobody's looking! (Pause.) So...what did you do while no one was looking? Be honest now.

Looked around to make sure no one was looking.

Now! If you want to play, leave a comment and I will visit you (or email you) and ask you five questions all your very own. Or not. Whatever.

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A dreaming Svithe

I woke up this morning to a dream, not an uncommon thing for me to do... the dreams premise was thus: That I had been called back to finish off the last three months of my mission. So, after the typical very strange moments at the beginning of the dream where I was assigned my companionship (usually a threesome for some strange reason), and getting to know them. I got to experience my first companionship study. And... for some reason the district leader and his comp were there as well.

He posed a simple question, one which I can't now remember the exact verbiage of, but which goes something along the lines of: "What is the cause of all the world's woes?" One of my companions (who was a very attractive girl by the way...) answered half jokingly, "Wal-Mart." Which was funny but at the same time I can see why she thought that. Big business which separates people from each other, that removes the connections in life for the sake of convenience. But that wasn't the answer, so my DL asked me what the answer was.

The following was my answer:

"I am firmly of the conviction that any time someone goes out and breaks a law of the gospel it is because they are not having an emotional need met. Very few people in the world are so mentally deranged that on a happy, good day they would go out and kill someone. It is always because they are feeling a lack, a void, and they seek for something that will help them fill that void. If you feel as though no one loves you, then you will turn to a violation of the law of chastity or a chemical addiction in hopes that you will somehow meet that need. These people who do this... they aren't for the most part bad, they simply don't know how to fix the pain, and they are trying the best way they know how to feel complete, whole.

“It is our responsibility as missionaries, and as followers of Christ to show them the correct method of meeting that name, the way they can be filled without resorting to a counterfeit. We have been given a precious gift, the knowledge of how to be happy. It isn't always the easiest thing in the world to do; in fact it's going to be harder by far than any of the counterfeit options.

"It is my conviction that there is no NEED that God will not meet and give us in a timely and efficient manner. Now, there are plenty of wants that God will not give us at based off simple request, but no needs, absolutely none. He will be there to give us the necessities of life, and in doing so will give us some of the most sublime, and special moments of human existence. We must teach people to hunger for those moments. Make the fruits of the spirit our wants and we will never need again.”

I’m so very thankful that I could call this a dream and not a nightmare.

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Answers and a Svithe

Well, since you asked for it... and as I tend to like to please my readership. (Thank you all four of you.) The answers to the questions/requests posed.

Laulau: What do you mean about the grass? As for more clues, the bad guy in Movie M also played a part in 2 M. Night Shyamalan movies. Both characters, incidentally, were hard for me to enjoy on screen in those movies because of his performance in Movie M.


Morgan: I worry about me too sometimes. Luckily... so does my Father--in his hands is my path. For the guessing... see Laulau's comment.

Theric: The code (my code?) was actually conceptualized as a way for me to do what Elder Maxwell always recommended: "try to place each step, where he would have tred." As for the movie, see my response to Laulau.

The Svithe!

It is interesting how when you actually try and do what you should, doors open. I know that I'm not ready to go back to school... this is something that I can accept these days. Because I cannot go to school, I cannot work at the place where I previously had. So... I've been forced to find a new position, tonight as I was entertaining Rockflower's request to eat with her and Cpt. Jax's family... I was offered a informally offered a position with Cpt. Jax at his place of business. It is an idea I would love to take up. Cpt. Jax is an old friend of mine who I sadly haven't spent much time with since the two of them were married almost a year ago. (I'm still very sorry that I missed the wedding... I don't deal well with things like commitment... even other people's.)

Anyway, I guess... what I'm saying is this: Sometimes, the resonance comes when you least expect it.

As I re-read that post... I'm struck by how similar the issues presenting me then are with the ones presenting me today. I would despair that I might never recover except something a wise neighbor told me the other day... Which will be the REAL svithe I think.

We are all sent here to learn something from life. And we can't expect ourselves to learn that life lesson easily, or quickly. If it were easy... it wouldn't be the reason we were sent here.

My lesson? To discover how to love, others, deity, and most of all... myself.

-(The man behind the facade)

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Giving your Life for Something...

Tonight, I sinned.

I watched a rated-R movie unedited. I'm not ashamed of it, in fact... something that it proposed has become/will become the subject of this post. And so, without further ado, the post:

In the very last lines of Movie X(No, lets not call it movie X, x gets too much face time as a random variable, lets call it... *Movie M.) In the very last lines of Movie M, *Semi-love says, "Is *Idea worth one good man's life? He believed it to be so." Now, tragically in Movie M, *Hero did in fact give his life for Idea. But, I got to thinking (now, now, don't get mad at me for thinking, it's what I'm best at) Hero didn't in fact give his life for Idea, he died for Idea, there is a difference. (Which is of course, simply commenting on the actual reference in Movie M, not to the fact that he also lived for Idea prior to this event.)

What is the difference you ask? Well, to give your life means you must... live. To give your death means to make yourself a martyr for a cause. Now here come some rhetorical questions: Which is greater? Can you do the latter without first doing the former? Why is it of such great worth to do either?

Now for some answers (Yes, sometimes rhetorical questions have answers... I just don't want YOU to answer them--yet.) Neither is greater, but are of equal value. Yes(but not really). Because the only thing we have to give in all of existence to God. Is our agency, what we do with that freedom of choice... that is completely and utterly up to us.

This concept terrifies me. My life has not been a life worthy of a movie, nor has it been lived for an idea. My life has been lived for myself. It is a selfish life a life which, like so many times before, I will endeavor to change. So... I have been thinking what exactly out there is there for me to give my life to? Politics--I don't have the temperament or history. Knowledge/wisdom--knowledge/wisdom without application is useless. Action--again, action without knowledge/wisdom... useless. No, there must be an overarching concept, an idea comparable to Hero's Idea, to which I may devote my life and gain such pleasure and glory as to be carried by my fellow men upon their shields at my $death.

What is this concept? The easy answer: God. So many men have lived and died to God however, some good... and we won't(isn't won't a funny word? It's a contraction of will not...that's weird.) speak of the others. How do you live up to that? No, I have a much simpler... and perhaps more complex idea at hand. I propose to live my life in devotion to an idea. That man kind is in need of Brother's Keepers. From hence forth let me think no more of myself, but that in doing so I may better others. Starting now, the many shall be my focus, the individual my concern, the betterment of Earth my priority. Beginning today I will forget myself and get to work.

*As a game, I'm going to give everyone(as in... the three people who actually read this) an opportunity to guess at the actual names/theories behind the faux names given. Reply via private channels so as not to ruin the game for everyone else.

Movie M = ?
Semi-Love = ?
Idea = ?
Hero = ?

$ The act of carrying a man on shields is common in several cultures, the Nordic being the one that comes to mind. But, in essence it was given to warriors who died in battle, and had done one of the the following A. died in such a way as to bring great honor to them, or B. lived in such a way as to bring great honor to them.

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Rock Bottom

The time has come for a good talking to…

Yesterday, my neighbors decided to have an intervention for me. You see, about a month ago I quit a game called World of Warcraft because I felt as though it was consuming too much of my time. Little did I know, that the frequency with which I played had more in relation to an inner turmoil than any actual addiction. Everything came unraveled the week before my parents moved.

I can’t say that I’ve ever been very close to my family in any sense but the basest, proximity. But… lately I’ve been feeling a need which I have been unable to meet. In my distress I have turned to a new source, my family, and found some strength there. But it seems fate conspires against me in this. Two weeks ago my parents moved to Georgia.

Now, I said that everything came unraveled and I really do mean everything. I stopped even pretending I was in school, stopped going to work, ceased contact with friends, and severed connections with the heavens, I even grew a beard. I’ve taken some small steps towards recovery, but the road is distant. I’ve hit the rock at the bottom, and I think it finally knocked some sense into me.

I’m not really sure how to explain all of this, my sleep cycles are all messed up, I have trouble staying asleep, getting to sleep, and waking up. The inner core of me has run empty. I am left with a husk, But I’m going to try and breath life into it. And if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pray.

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