Depression

Well, as many of you know, and as some of you have guessed. I have been diagnosed with Clinical depression. I take 200 mg of Welbutrin SR every morning, all because of that fact. For the longest time I refused to take medication, I had gone on it once in High School, and it just...didn't fly very well. So I had a bad taste in my mouth, not to mention the fact that I dislike drugs in general and have taken only a few dozen pain relievers in my life. Anyway, I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

I have learned how to handle it. I couldn't do it alone, and I have various other things that I deal with, but more or less, I have managed to put it behind me. It is a war that is always raging in the background, a whirlpool sitting there waiting for me to sail a little too close...enough with the similies you get the picture. The reason I'm writing this is because I'm sick of people with depression who act like it is some dibilitating disease. Is it hard? Yes. Can it feel like too much sometimes? Most definatly. But the fact of the matter is, the Lord provides ways of getting out. I look back on my life and see the times when I've been most depressed and it has always been those times in my life when I haven't been following the gospel.

I am absolutley convinced that if you are striving your best to live the gospel...then the depression will never get the best of you. Sometimes that means throwing your pride aside and dumping on someone, or taking a pill. But the Lord provides. Is it still hard? OF COURSE. This life wasn't made to be a walk in the park. It's always going to be difficult, it's difficult for the people without depression.

Okay, I've ranted and raved and probably offended a few people, and I appologize, I realize that the things contained in this post may not seem like they apply to your situation. They may not, I may have taken my own thoughts and turned out something so bunk it's not even funny. So, what am I trying to say here...we have all been given trials in life, one of mine just so happens to be depression. But we are all given problems, the Lord provides ways out of those holes, whatever they may be. I don't pretend to know all of the answers...but I do know that they cannot be found on our own. Whatever the trial, through God's assistance we may grow...sure we'll have some scars for a bit, but in the end...it's scars that make us truely beautiful.

I hope anyone reading this will gain some hope out of it, and not the anger it started with. This life is too short to live without hope, and that is what trials suck from us, the hope for a better world. "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."