Still Moving

The title is in reference to this talk. Although I have to admit that I am doing much better than I could reasonably hope to be. The Lord is very kind to me. He has granted unto me peace where none existed. He has stilled the aching heart and spoken peace to my mind. It is strange, part of me wants to say that I have become so well acquainted with pain that I have learned how to deal with it. But I know that is not true.

The truth is that I have been given a gift. There are many facets to this gift, and I am learning to love and appreciate them all. I was talking to a good friend of mine earlier today about my life and how I am so very afraid that sooner or later someone will see the real me, the one I keep so deeply hidden that no one can possibly see. She told me I should get counseling. I told her I should not. I have been to counselors before, they have talked to me, I knew what they were saying, I understood it and I believed it. But I can't do it. She asked why, it was because of the comfort zone. I am paralyzed by the thought of once more having my heart broken. This past two weeks I have felt that pain. I'm stronger now, I think I am finally getting over Ashley. The scars have healed and I am once more hale.

I'm not so dark a being as I am afraid I am. I am going to try and break the status quo. I'm going to try and go outside of my comfort zone. Yeah, I need to devote some time to studies, time that I am currently not devoting to them. But I need to go out on ledges more often. I need to test myself and prove my life. But most of all I need to remember the author of my salvation. I know that if I can but remember him, life will sort itslef out and I will be found doing those things wich will please both him and me. Thank you my frineds.

Asmond Woodruff