100 Posts

In slightly over a year and a half, I've finally managed to hit 100 posts.

It started in February, and this September...well, quite a few things have happened in between. I've changed, I wish I could say I've grown. Truth is, I'm in pretty much the same state I was in when I started this whole business. My major has changed, I have more friends, and more enemies, but when it all comes down to it, who I am...the core, is still the same. And I still don't like it very much.

Where have I gone wrong? What part of growing up am I missing? Am I supposed to stay stagnant for so long? Has it really been a year and a half of lost faith? Am I where I should be? Am I where I could be? What could I have done better?

Against the nature of rhetorical questions, I'll answer myself.

I stopped reading my scriptures. I've given too much time to different worlds and have forgotten the real one, it's responsibility that I'm missing. No, I should be much better. Yes it has, but there have been moments, beautiful moments, where you had your faith again...oh that it were a moment to last eternity. No, you failed to do your duty, you should be further, you need to stop **** and ****, and start **** again--Not to mention ****. See last answer.

Today Morgan said that my posts always made her want to be better. I don't know about that, I'm just trying to figure all this stuff out, but I know where I want to be, and this is where I share my thoughts on where that is, and how to get there. I want to be happy, and I think I'll never be able to so long as I keep looking inside mater for that joy. Happiness is not a quantity that can be measured, so why should it be found in things that can be? The same is true of all things that we find valuable, Loyalty, Love, courage. You don't see people walking around saying, "I have 325723 love today guys!" It's funny, the only way to measure happiness is to discover unhappiness. The same is true with love, and companionship. How I wish the world weren't so cold and alone. How I wish I could remember him.