Unwanted Blessings
>> Monday, September 19, 2005
I've been tossing this idea around for a while, and can't really figure out what to call it. Let me explain my predicament.
These past few weeks I've been complaining about a lot of things, and it seems like every time I complain about something, God sends the smack down and gives me the thing I'm complaining about not having. Well, naturally I've been feeling fairly non-appreciative for all of the things that He has been giving me. So I've kinda named these blessings unwanted ones, because I think deep down I want to complain about them, and he just keeps blessing me so I have to find something else to complain about. Why is that? Why am I so determined to be unhappy that I refuse the joy that is staring me full dead in the eyes. Yeah, talk about a stupid little kid.
So, in light of these things I've been kind of keeping a mental list of the unexpected great things that happen in life.
I ate a cookie, and was complaining in my head about how dry it was. SHE offered me a glass of milk.
I was whining about my romantic life, SHE showed up at my house.
I was worried about money issues, BYU is giving me 350 dollars.
I complained about walking everywhere, my parents paid to have my car fixed.
I whined about not having anyone I could trust with things, he gave me someone I wanted to trust.
I wanted to be able to serve people but not be seen, I got a calling as a ward clerk.
I felt disconnected with my family, both of the twins called me and asked to do things with me.
I was feeling depressed and unloved, Wiggle called and forced me to go do something with my life. Random people in my ward asked why I hadn't come and visited them recently, several of them. A girl told me that my looks were 'more on the beneficial side,' and that when I smiled it, 'lit up my whole face.'
Countless others that I wish I could remember but can't. I guess the thing that I'm so happy about is the fact that God knows who I am and is giving me the things I need (which I think right now are really the things I need and not only the things I want) I'm not really sure what he has in store for me, I know these blessings aren't going to come forever, but I'm enjoying them while they are here and maybe I'll learn to appreciate them even when they're gone and I'm given real challenges again.
But in the mean time, I'd like to thank all of the people out there who have played a role in helping me feel better, you are Gods angels' for me, and I hope you know how much I love and esteem you for it. I hope someday I'll be able to do the same for you.
-Asmond
9 comments:
I have the opposite problem, I think. Every time I start bragging to myself about the great things I have, God takes them away. Many would look at this as a curse, but to me it's one of the greatest things I have in this life. [fingers crossed--man, I hope this works!]
First, I totally know what it feels like to act like "some stupid kid." As evident by many posts, I did not want to come back to Alabama. I'd thanked God for sending me to Utah because of all I learned there and then, somehow, I knew that Alabama was were I needed to be. I knew it, but I still wanted to be in Utah, so I threw my little temper tantrum and complained until I realized what I was doing and moved on.
Second, "I know these blessings aren't going to come forever," well why not? If you're doing all that you're supposed to I imagine they will. Trials will come too, but the blessings won't be taken away.
Third, "but I'm enjoying them while they are here and maybe I'll learn to appreciate them even when they're gone and I'm given real challenges again." I am of the mindset that "real challenges" are specific to people. Sometimes I don't think I could deal with what others deal with on a daily basis. What is big for us may be insignificant to others and vice versa. Don't ever think you're trials aren't real because they're small; they are there for you to learn.
I just want you to know that if you are in a need of a friend I am here for you pal
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