Zee Cold

As I have previously stated, I hate the cold. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't one of my typical, "I hate" statements. No, I actually mean this one. I hate cold more than I hate mushrooms and the smell of raw fish, and that pringly sensation you get in your legs when the blood rushes back into them. More even than I hate confronting people when I know I'm in the wrong.

This is a hate that runs deeper than oceans. This is a hate with such passion that the stars themselves quiver and quell in fear of being burned in one fell swoop consumed in my angers fire.

Yes, you are beginning to understand my deep loathing for the cold. I despise it more than anything you can imagine.

Why do I carry such deep anti-affection for cold temperatures? Well, I blame it all on the fact that as a child I got bronchial asthma, basically when it's cold...I can't breathe. Then of course I got sent on my mission to Texas where I was the glad recipient of wonderful warm temperatures. Until February when it turned cold, cold and humid and I had to ride my bike around in that temperature. It was so cold you could spit and hear the ice shatter when it made contact with the cement. It was so cold I would puke just to get some sort of movement in the bowels.

And then I came home to Utah and it was cold, but not wet it didn't penetrate. Then it turned summer again and I realized...being cold is stupid, the only reason to be cold is if you go to hell. Which is enough of a reason to repent in my mind. Other than that, I will turn the heat up to 80 degrees in my apartment, I'll huddle in sweaters, jackets and blankets, and then when all is said and done and I can leave this place that gets cold I'm moving somewhere warm... Like maybe Sol. I think I'd like it better there.