Missing time

Sorry that it's been so long since I posted last. It seems like forever, and that's fine. I've lost my laptop and have been 'borrowing' computer time while I have it late at night. Tonight I met a girl, we'll call her Hana (if you know me in real life, this is a pseudonyms, not a real one) she's great--one problem--she has a boyfriend. A fairly serious one. I don't really want to date her, mostly because of the boy, and I have no desire to break up a relationship that could possibly end in eternal bliss. But I have noticed how much I miss having a girl. It's little things. Like the scent she leaves on a pillow or article of clothing.

Like watching a movie and having something to lean on. Like not feeling so incomplete all the time--missing half of my mind. I miss the goose bumps when you see her again, the instant happy of her smile. I miss the consideration and expectations given to each other.

It's a thousand little things, these are things that I love about being in love. The sad thing is...I don't think Hana is getting those things with her boyfriend. And it scares me that she will simply 'go with the flow' and never get goose bumps, never have a stupid grin creep across her face as she thinks about him. I'm afraid she'll never be in love.